Fickle, gossipy, compulsively flirtatious—Gemini qualities are often synonymous with red flags in the dating world. “I like him, but he’s a Gemini,” is something I’ve heard a handful of times eavesdropping around cafés in Los Angeles. Aside from Scorpios, Geminis are the zodiac residents that receive the most shade from their neighboring signs. As an ally of the Gemini community with decades-long friendships and a few of those “good terms” exes, I’m here to put the rumors to rest.
As the twin sign, Geminis are seen as being two-sided or untrustworthy—while I agree there are two (maybe more) sides to each Gemini, this doesn’t imply deceit. “When it comes to dating both sides of a Gemini, many people assume that two sides implies they are ‘two-faced,’” begins C.P., Professional Gemini. “There are certainly two twins. Twin #1 is an extrovert who loves to gossip. This one might be where the two-faced stereotype comes from, but it’s all in good fun. Twin #2 is a self-absorbed nihilist asking themselves ‘who even am I in this world?’” At the end of the day, “dating both sides of the twins is just accepting each day for what it is.” Yes, they can be capricious, unreliable know-it-alls, but there is a delicate streak of vulnerability under all that sound and fury. When you get to know the other side of a Gemini, you’ve struck gold.
So how do you de-mystify the other side of a Gemini? I asked an expert panel of the smartest, sexiest Geminis I know to give us the inside scoop on the myths, warning signs, and green lights when dating these astrological twins.
Geminis Flirt With Information
“As a Gemini, there is a learning curve to reading our expressions. When I first started dating my current boyfriend he said he couldn’t tell if I liked him. I was like ‘What are you talking about, I made you memes.’ Bespoke memes! Once he learned how to read my style of communication, it was all good.” H.S. (Full-time Gemini)
As an air sign, a Gemini’s love language is the art of conversation. They love facts, debates, witty banter—all with a hint of intrigue. They love to dish. They get revved up at the idea of dissecting a text conversation, unpacking the drama of a petty disagreement, and overanalyzing subtext. They apply the same level of aggressive scrutiny to conversations ranging from film and politics to memes and sexts. At times you may feel they are trying to start a fight, but if you look closely, you can see the Sims green ++ signs floating over their heads. Play in the space with them. They love a debate especially if it’s rife with witty banter. Humor is the quickest way to a Gemini’s heart.
Both Sides Get Bored Easily
“Sure, you could call us two-faced, but the two faces don’t exclude one another. It’s not a Jekyll and Hyde situation. They are integrated, and often in dialogue with each other. It’s not that there is a disingenuous side, just one we feel safer keeping hidden and less extroverted.” M.S. (Gemini since 1995)
As a mutable sign, Geminis are chameleons in any situation. They are posting a front-facing video talking about their newest juice cleanse and three hours later they’re live tweeting drunk from Domino’s. It’s not that they’re disingenuous, they are just driven by novelty. The quickest way to lose a Gemini is to be aggressively predictable—“We don’t like predictability, we need a twist,” says M.S. If you start telling them a story they’ve heard before they’ll be the first to tell you. To keep a Gemini’s attention—aka to pry their eyes off their phone—keep a few surprises up your sleeve. An impromptu after-dinner movie, a train ride to Coney Island, even an unexpected little treat. Geminis are like giddy children when it comes to thoughtful and engaging surprises—their vulnerable “other” side melts at a display of “thoughtfulness.” Their forthrightness and energy usually make them the one who calls all the shots, but they secretly love when someone else makes the plans for once.
Some Are Secret Romantics
“A lot of Geminis are secretly very romantic. But sometimes that can be hidden in a coded, ironic layer of flirtation. Especially if they have a lot of earth or water placements in their chart, they sometimes need permission from the other person to be emotional. I'm actually a serial monogamist. I might flirt, flirt, flirt but if I want to be with someone, I’m going to be with them for years.” C.P. (Professional Gemini, PhD)
If you find yourself crushing on a Gemini, don’t stress. Everyone thinks they are elusive and mysterious—and they definitely want you to believe that—but when you get through to that other side, they are some of the sweetest, loyal, and ride-or-die signs of the zodiac. Yes, they love to flirt, but if they take a shine to you, they will be on you like flypaper. If a Gemini is in your DMs for more than a week, they have a big ol’ crush on you. Even though they seem so bombastic and extroverted, they may need you to take the first emotional steps in the relationship to make them feel safe.
They Love A Game, But They Aren’t All Players
“Geminis love a bit of a game when they start dating. If you give them too much all at once, or not enough, they might get a bit bored. Keep them on their toes. Don’t watch their Instagram story til the 23rd hour. Start typing a response and don’t send it. Post cryptic thirst traps. This will drive them absolutely insane and have you on their mind for days.” M.H. (Gemini with a heart of gold)
Who doesn’t love a little mind game? Well, most people don’t. This is why the more timid or no-nonsense signs often find themselves clashing with the bombastic air sign. Geminis love the thrill of the chase, but it’s all in good fun. If it starts to feel cruel or overly complicated they could shy away or lose interest. Remember, deep down many of them are a bit flighty because they’re afraid of getting hurt. As said by C.P., “The most under-discussed thing about Geminis is that they are quite nervous and fickle in love. The source of the fickleness is the fear of embarrassing themselves. Gemini energy is so friendly out of a huge fear of rejection.” Play with their ego a little bit to keep them entertained, but make sure to back it up with sincere reassurance so no one gets hurt.
Prepare for Some Turbulence
“If you feel like you’re getting mixed signals, like they’re flirty over text but make eye contact with everyone but you at the function, it’s because they like you. A Gemini would rather die than be earnest. That being said, Gemini ghosting is real.” C.P.
When you’re dating both sides of a Gemini, remember that the most frustrating part of their behavior stems from the insecurities of Twin #2. As inherent people-pleasers, they have a huge fear of conflict and rejection, which results in the stereotypically fickle behavior. According to C.P., the ghosting often “comes from a fear of conflict, confrontation, or letting people down. In moments of insecurity, they can sometimes convince themselves the other person doesn’t care about them anyways. One thing I want to defend about Geminis is that all of their flakiness, evasiveness, and conflict avoidance come from a sweet place of not wanting to hurt other people’s feelings.” If you’re getting mixed signals from a Gemini, don’t lose all hope. Chances are they’re feeling skittish about their own feelings. Or they are in the beginning stages of ghosting you. Either way, all’s fair in love and war, folks.
How to Flirt With a Gemini
Depending on your astrological sun sign, here is the best way to connect with your Gemini crush:
Aries: Competitive karaoke
Taurus: An impromptu tasting menu dinner
Gemini: Talking over each other for hours
Cancer: Asking, “Can I tell you a secret?”
Leo: Going on a shopping spree
Virgo: Taking Adderall and making an in-and-out list
Libra: Getting a new set of acrylics
Scorpio: Sex
Sagittarius: Debating the core philosophies of Kant vs. Nietzsche
Capricorn: Going to the container store
Aquarius: Dropping acid
Pisces: Going to the beach at night
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